Powdered Doughnut Challenge

At a glance, this challenge does not look especially difficult. Much like you, I thought, “Oh, only five donuts in five minutes? That is too easy.” But let me tell you, dear reader, how deceiving this challenge really is.

Although five minutes seems like a reasonable amount of time, this period felt as though it went by faster than the last three minutes of a final exam. Foolishly, I was rather pleased with my progress in that first minute. By the second minute though, I realized that this challenge was no easy feat. I hadn’t even finished my second donut, and already I was behind schedule.

At a certain point,I realized that I was unable to open my mouth. It wasn’t because I was being polite and did not want to show the spectators the awful mess of half-chewed donuts, but because the powdered sugar and dough had combined to form a paste that effectively glued my mouth shut.

By donut number four I was seriously reconsidering my life decisions. I had one minute to eat one and a half donuts, but the sugar was hitting my blood stream now, adding a pleasant hum in my veins. For some perverse reason, though, I did not stop. My mantra was simple: it does not matter if you cannot feel your tongue. Just eat through your tears.

However, I regret to inform you that my motivational speaking was not successful. I was one-eighth of a donut away for victory, but it was not close enough. This challenge is deceptively difficult. Take my word for it. Unless you want to deal with sugar-induced nausea and failure, please do not try this.

—Moitra, a senior, is a News Editor.

Cinnamon challenge

There is always laughter whenever people watch an attempt of an infamous Youtube challenge. These challenges involve the “victim” testing his or her ability to withstand eating certain kinds of foods, which usually results in pain and failure.

Unfortunately, I selected the hardest of them all: the cinnamon challenge, where one must consume a spoonful of cinnamon without the aid of water. When I was presented with this challenge, I expected it to be simple and easy. Later, however, I deeply regretted this mistake.

If there is anything to be learned from doing the cinnamon challenge, it is simply not to do it. As I began the challenge with people standing by to  my imminent humiliation, I pushed away any second thoughts I had and opened wide. Within mere seconds, it began to feel like I had just taken a mouthful of sand and my mouth was completely parched. With such a dry mouth, I was unable to swallow. After this, I did what happens to every person who takes the challenge. Disgusted, I spewed out the load of cinnamon in my mouth, effectively creating a flume of brown smoke. Simple willpower cannot overcome the dry, throat-searing feeling that comes with it. So to all who consider performing this intolerable challenge, ask yourself this: would you eat sawdust?

—Cheong, a sophomore, is a reporter.

Saltine Cracker Challenge

Stuffing six salted crackers into one’s mouth in one minute doesn’t seem too hard, and even after watching countless videos of people failing the six saltine cracker challenge, I took it with a grain of salt. Thus, I decided to try the challenge myself to see if I would have more luck in succeeding.

My strategy going into the challenge was to consume each cracker in ten seconds and not rush myself. After starting the timer, I kept repeating the motto, “slow and steady wins the race.” In fact, the first cracker wasn’t bad, but when I saw that 13 seconds had passed,  I panicked and began stuffing the crackers faster into my mouth, and at the third or fourth cracker, I found that swallowing the chewed up dough was becoming increasingly harder. Unfortunately, when the timer struck one minute, I was still chewing my fifth cracker. I then decided to search up ways people have succeeded.

One method I researched was the chunking strategy in which one eats the crackers in a 3-2-1 pattern. The consumer begins by putting three crackers into one’s mouth at once, followed by two and then finishing up with one. It didn’t seem like a bad strategy to try, so I decided to give the challenge another try.

As I examined the stack of three crackers, I realized my small physical features were a hindrance. As soon as I shoved the crackers in my mouth, I realized I was in trouble yet again. My eyes began to tear up from the pain, but I was determined to finish the challenge. Alas, I was still chewing my fourth and fifth cracker when the timer went off. Mission unaccomplished.

Even though I had a numb tongue and a scratchy throat, I actually do not regret attempting this meaningless challenge—I now know that I am not meant to eat competitively. So, if you feel this challenge is worth your salt, go ahead, but be careful and don’t bite off more than you can chew.

—Yao, a junior, is a Sports Editor.