Sabby Sabby’s Tips: Strategies for making successful March Madness picks

Written by Sabrina Chen

1. Pick the highest seeds. They will win since they are the best. It absolutely cannot get more obvious than that. Obviously!

2. Measure muscle mass. Imagine those beauti- ful and ripped muscles running around on the court. The bigger, the better.

3. Look for hotties on the team. No comment necessary.

4. Create an algorithm using Java and C++ and run it. Technology is failure-proof. Just close your eyes and let the numbers work out.

5. Look at free-throw percentages. Also, if they chew their mouthguards, it’s a huge plus.

6. Look online for expert advice. Try searching on unknown browsers so that no one discovers the ultimate secret to picking the winning bracket.

7. Use the team mascot as your sole criteria for picking perfect teams. You know you love that big and hungry bulldog.

8. Ask your tall friends what they think. After all, they must play basketball.

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