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Isaac’s Top nine ways to give people thanks

1. Buy them a Hallmark card. Nothing shows you care like a store-bought product with a tagline made by someone else.

2. Choreograph an interpretive dance expressing your gratitude for them. Turkey imitation is highly encouraged.

3. Everyone likes a nice massage. Even your mailman.

4. Write them a poem. Don’t know how? Don’t worry; anything is poetry if you say it is.

5. First rule of Thanksgiving? Never settle for just “enough”. Go all out and throw a parade for Grandma.

6. Give them the first bite of turkey.

7. On second thought, nobody is that nice. Let them take the second cut.

8. Who are we kidding? They can have the last bite.

9. Let’s be real here. They can smell your breath after you’ve eaten the whole turkey solo.

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