Official Student Newspaper of Henry M. Gunn High School

Back scratcher

We’ve all been there: that one itch you can’t seem to reach. Your classmates watch as you grow increasingly desperate, scrabbling at your back, your limbs flailing haphazardly. Conversation becomes stilted; solving a trig equation or recalling an English vocabulary word becomes difficult. After awhile, you become delirious…is anything real? It’s hard to distinguish between reality and the itch-induced hallucinations. For relief from this and other similarly awkward itches, employ a back scratcher, which can be easily and safely stored in the water bottle-holder on your backpack that you never actually use to hold your water bottle. Plus, it can act as a sort of arm extension: you can use it to try and drag things closer to you. If you get one long enough, you’ll never need to go to the front of the class to turn in an assignment again.

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