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Humor: How to begin the year with memorable first impressions

Arrive Early, Stay Late
Arrive Early, Stay Late

Have you heard the saying, “If you come on time, you’re already too late”? Well it’s true — nothing says “dedicated student” more than arriving to school at the crack of dawn.

And don’t just leave when the bell rings. Stick around after class. Way after class. Help your teacher pack their bag, walk them to their car, and maybe even offer to follow them home to help with lesson planning. Boundaries? Never heard of them. Better yet, save yourself the hassle by just setting up tent outside their classroom door. Make yourself the first and last thing your teachers see every single day.

Dress to Impress
Dress to Impress

It’s that time of year to start picking out our outfits again. But even though your jeans and white T-shirt somewhere in a pile on the floor are calling your name, think bigger — think business professional every single day, rain or shine. Wear your best suit and tie or evening dress, maybe even bring a briefcase.

For extra points, coordinate your outfits with your teachers’ favorite fashions and colors — stalk their social media, if necessary. Remember, it’s all about the first impression, and nothing says “I’m here to learn” like looking ready for a corporate takeover.

Participate, Participate!
Participate, Participate!

Engagement is key, but you don’t want to blend in with the rest. Raise your hand at every possible moment, even to answer rhetorical questions.

If you don’t know the answer — make an educated guess! If the teacher asks for the definition of “mitosis,” you respond with, “I believe mitosis is the process by which teachers inspire greatness in students, wouldn’t you agree?”

If they ask for silence, raise your hand to ask why silence is important. If they make a joke, laugh uproariously. Participation is about presence, and you want yours to be felt.

Teachers Love Apples
Teachers Love Apples

Forget the cliché of an apple on the desk. Go big or go home. Bring an entire cornucopia of fruit. Better yet, bring exotic fruits that no one’s ever brought before. Starfruit, dragon fruit, maybe even a durian for that unforgettable scent.

Make sure to include a detailed note about the nutritional benefits of each fruit and how they can improve brain function. After all, if an apple a day keeps the doctor away, then an entire basket of fruit a day is sure to get you an A+. Extra credit for slipping in a fruit pun like, “I hope this basket helps you have a grape day!”

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About the Contributors
Kaylee Cheng
Kaylee Cheng, Editor-in-Chief
Junior Kaylee Cheng is the editor-in-chief for The Oracle. When she is not editing articles, you can find her playing with her cat Meow, painting, making jewelry and rewatching Pride and Prejudice (2005).
Jesse Li
Jesse Li, Graphics Artist
Senior Jesse Li is a graphics artist for The Oracle. During his free time, he enjoys listening to C-pop on Spotify and creating art.
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