High school is a busy time. Students are juggling academics, sports, instruments, jobs, and, in many cases, romantic relationships. Like all relationships, dating requires time and energy and can have effects on one’s well-being. While there is a lot of controversy surrounding the subject, dating in high school can contribute to a positive experience. Healthy romantic relationships have been proven to have positive effects on all aspects of health and help develop a teenager’s self-perception and sense of autonomy.

Studies relate relationships to tangible health benefits, including extended life expectancies, better heart health, and lower blood pressure. Studies cited by a National Library of Medicine article found that people who dated in adolescence reported better mental health and adjustment to change in adulthood. While platonic friendships may also have similar effects, dating is different from friendship. According to licensed marriage and family therapist Saba Harounie Lurie, romantic partners usually demand more time and attention than friends. Having someone, especially a romantic partner, to talk with can help students relax, process their emotions, and feel connected to others. The mental health benefits of dating are especially relevant for high schoolers, since many experience stress from managing all their activities or thinking about their futures.

A study conducted by University of Michigan researchers found that people who abstained from dating in adolescence tended to have lower self-esteem and poorer mental health later in life. Conversely, people in romantic relationships often compliment and support each other, building their self-esteem.

The experience and soft skills high schoolers can learn from romantic relationships can carry over into adulthood. One example of this is communication, which is an important aspect of any relationship and a skill that students should begin developing early on. The quality of high school relationships can also affect the success of future ones. People who did not date in adolescence reported less romantic success in adulthood than those who did. Dating in high school can teach teens how to communicate effectively, set boundaries, resolve conflicts, and be vulnerable.

Although some people think that teenagers are too naive to date and should wait until they’re older, those individuals aren’t giving high schoolers enough credit. Most students understand where their priorities lie and understand the importance of effective communication and individual boundaries. It is ironic that students are commonly expected to excel at economics, theoretical physics, or multivariable calculus but are expected to fail at dating. This profiling is not only inaccurate, but fails to account for the maturity and time-management skills that many students have.

High school dating should not be seen as something that is too much for students to handle. Instead, it should be seen as something that provides students with opportunities to improve their skills and lower stress levels. Academics are an important part of high school, but developing healthy, well-adjusted habits through dating is similarly important. Dating can contribute to that objective because it deepens a person’s understanding of relationships and of themselves. Ultimately, students should stay open to the possibility and allow themselves the opportunity to experience growth that can come from a relationship.

A common way that many students cope with loneliness and find a sense of belonging is through dating. However, being in a relationship can introduce unwanted issues, such as increased stress towards academics and self-improvement.

The portrayal of high school dating in the media has created pressure for students to meet unrealistic teenage romantic expectations. According to a 2024 study by the Journal of Student Research, 50% of high schoolers who have not been in a relationship felt that dating as a teenager is a societal expectation. Likewise, 25% felt pressured to start dating due to societal and peer pressure, and 36% have been judged for not being in a relationship. This culture coerces students into relationships in order to dodge loneliness and isolation experienced from being an exception.

Additionally, conforming to romantic ideals set by society is extremely overwhelming. Societal pressures should not be the motivation for dating. In fact, having such relationships influenced by peer pressure can be harmful. As the Journal of Student Research survey found, 29% of students who have previously been in a relationship but are currently not feel pressured to get into another relationship by peers and society. Those who date out of societal pressure feel stress and emotional turmoil to fit in and end up in a relationship they do not truly want.

Another source of stress for many high school students is their already-busy schedules. Adding dating to their workload can be a distraction from self-improvement and academic performance. According to a 2019 study conducted by the Pew Research Center, teens spend an average of more than 5.5 hours on leisure activities each day, or 38.5 hours a week. However, according to the Journal of Student Research, 43% of high schoolers currently in a relationship spend six or more hours with their significant other per week, outside of the 38.5 hours they already spend on leisure activities. This data implies that they would have less time for self-improvement compared to their non-dating counterparts.

Because of this significant commitment, dating not only takes away time and energy for individual activities, but it also hurts students’ academic performance and commitment to extracurricular activities. According to a 2020 study conducted by adolescent behavioral health service Evolve, students who dated the least had the best study skills, as reported by teachers, while those who frequently dated had the worst. Because students in romantic relationships have to focus and spend time on their partner, they are unable to dedicate as much to their other activities — such as extracurriculars and school — contributing to a worsened performance in these areas.

Some people may argue that dating helps students acquire important life skills and is a chance to be more mature. However, these skills can be acquired in other types of interpersonal relationships.

With pressing societal expectations, packed schedules, loads of homework, and minimal free time, students should not date in high school. When students shift their focus to relationships instead of self-improvement, they negatively affect their quality of life and mental health by adding yet another commitment to their already busy lives.