The Oracle

How to ward off potential ghosting


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Compiled by Amanda Lee

  • Text them every single thing that happens in your day. Every single thing. Tell them all about the mind-numbing traffic on Arastradero at 8 a.m., that word you missed during vocab in English class, every time you floss your teeth, the tragic break-up of your favorite couple in the show you binge-watched all night, etc. Remember your old elementary school diaries? Consider this Diary 2.0.
  • Remind them you exist. “Hey, I’m still alive, you know.” And keep trying. Maybe they’re just scared about opening up about their feelings?
  • Tell them how you feel in writing. Proclaiming your love works both in person and over text. Write them thousand-word sonnets that Shakespeare himself would cry over. Bonus points if you perform it on the quad.
  • Play the sticker game. Messenger and iMessage have a lovely assortment of free stickers. Just download a few packs, and spam them like crazy.
  • Stalk them. Show up at their front door with a boombox blasting their favorite jam, a beautiful bouquet of roses and a nice box of chocolates—guaranteed to win their love (and maybe a restraining order).
  • Use unconventional mediums to express your emotions. Create a masterpiece of art. Bawl your heart out with a love ballad. Make a touchdown or goal in their honor. Heroic acts of rescue aren’t out of fashion yet.
  • If all else fails, forget them. If you’ve put in all that effort just to get their attention, and they don’t reciprocate, they’re not even worth it. Save your heart for the one who will truly love you.

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How to ward off potential ghosting