Written By Isaac Wang
- Foul in a really obscure way like dumping piranhas into the opposing team’s side of the pool. Remember: if it’s not in the rule book, they can’t nab you for it.
- When called out for overaggression, blame violent video games for making you the way you are. After all, a little roughness is to be expected after playing “Grand Theft Auto: FIFA Edition.”
- Don’t wait for the referee to call you out on something. Take the initiative and report the referee for excessive whistle-blowing, getting in the way and general meanness. The best defense is a strong and uncalled-for offense. Every referee you send into a nervous break down is one less for you to deal with.
- A referee without his whistle is just a regular guy wearing stripes. Render him powerless by hiding his source of power (bonus points if you can frame the other team for taking the whistle).
- Disguise yourself in the opposing team’s uniform so that the other school gets penalized for whatever fouls you commit. Yes, referees are that dumb. No, you won’t get in trouble.
- Join the NYPD. They get away with everything.