Modern Warfare: Social Media Edition

Written by Lisa Hao

Sometime after I graduated from eighth grade, Facebook statuses started to slowly disappear. No one posted about their weird day or updated people on their silly revelations. People stopped writing each other the classic “truth is: I don’t know you very well but you seem really cool and we should be friends” post. Nobody even went on rants or wrote emotional messages. For the most part, public activity on Facebook seemed to have ceased.

It wasn’t until I entered high school when I realized that most Gunn students only check Facebook to chat, post pictures and checked study groups. People instead went to Twitter as the new platform to express their thoughts and complaints using 140 characters or less.

Twitter is the perfect place to update others on your life, post various thoughts, as well as subtweet about people. The reason why subtweets get so much attention is because they are essentially complaints or hate-tweets about a specific person or group without the said person or group directly mentioned. These types of tweets usually start rumors about who the tweet could be about and how rude or uncalled for it was. If the subtweet is dramatic enough, in my opinion the most entertaining thing on the internet—Twitter wars—will follow. Twitter wars begin when two or more users fight and argue online by tweeting at or about each other. These wars or fights can last anywhere from three minutes to a whole day and will always create follow-up gossip and drama.

I am a Twitter-war veteran myself and have recognized the many tips and tricks for starting  out there, so open your Twitters and use any of these methods to spice up your life. However, before you get into a twitter war, remember that there are consequences. You might tarnish your reputation. You may be matched in wittiness and beat in sassiness, and worst of all, you may risk tweeting too much in one day, leading to unfollows. Twitter wars may seem like a joke but they are not. I’ve seen issues dueled out on Twitter that people could have hashed out in person, and the result is always a permanent feud. For those who proceed, beware: you probably will be hurt, and you may lose. Meanwhile, the rest of us will be watching on the side with a bucket of popcorn.

How to start a Twitter war

1) Tweet something vague that can be applied to a large group of people. Even if innocuously intended, people will interpret it as an attack on them.

2) Add the hashtag “#subtweet” after a rude comment. Everyone will go ballistic about the fact that you are consciously letting people know that you are hating on a specific person.

3) If you’re feeling especially malicious, go ahead and just hit the @ sign to tag whoever you are itching to fight with. Other twitter users will be more than happy to watch on.

4) Replying to tweets can also be an excellent way to tick people off. Respond extremely sarcastically or just with, “Nobody cares.”

5) Mention anything political and watch the Twitter world burn.

6) If you can catch someone going back on something they tweet, screenshot the earlier tweet and call them out for it. Now you’re basically calling them a hypocrite, which they cannot deny since you have evidence.

—Hao, a junior, is a Features editor.