Avoid family conflicts through cowering, confrontation

Written by Carolyn Kuimelis

  • Stick your head inside the holiday turkey when your relatives start discussing politics. If your family is vegetarian, stick your head in the mashed potatoes. Bonus: they’re noise canceling, so you won’t hear them scream in disgust.
  • Buy the largest box you can find, wrap it in festive paper, and hide in it all night. Pro tip: bring some snacks and a large, empty bottle.
  • When your family members ask about your extracurriculars, make up the weirdest sounding activity you can think of. They’ll be so confused that they won’t bother pushing the issue.
  • If you’re feeling bored (and feisty), bring up a polarizing political issue. Then, slip away from the dinner table and watch the world burn.
  • When you finally snap, either go big or go home. You’re already yelling, so you might as well create an argument that generations to come will retell.