Best Bathroom: Spangenberg Theater

The Spangenberg Theater bathroom embodies the word “perfect.” Perfectly pristine. Perfectly peaceful. Perfectly empty. It’s a restroom you would be lucky to find in a fine-dining establishment. With large sinks that provide ample room to wash your hands without hitting the back of the basin
every time, and clean mirrors devoid of any traces of vandalism, the bathroom is fully equipped with all necessities to ensure a calm, hygienic experience. There are more soap dispensers in this lavatory alone than in both of the N-building’s boys bathrooms.

The bathroom’s charm lies in its tranquility: No need to beware of prying knocks or freshmen’s boisterous yells when using the toilet. However, only lucky students who have classes in or adjacent to Spangenberg or who slip in when the doors are unlocked can take advantage of this bathroom.

Honorable Mention: Library

Fully equipped with three bathroom stalls and plenty of soap, the library bathroom is one of the best on campus. With backpack hangers in each stall, it offers a brief respite for those carrying heavy loads. The stalls are always stocked with more than enough toilet paper and seat covers — perfect for students who place particular emphasis on hygiene. Even if you opt out of the seat covers, there’s no reason to worry: The toilet seats are spotless and kept in tip-top condition. Standing out from other bathrooms on campus, the faucets run for a long time with just one press, eliminating the need to alternate from one hand to the other while washing them. With more commonly used restrooms dirty and the top-notch bathrooms impossible to access, this bathroom gives students a happy medium.

Worst Bathroom: J-building

If the library bathroom is a leisurely stroll through the park, the J-building bathroom is the same, but with chlorine gas for air and nuclear waste instead of soil. Only desperate souls with no other choice go to this bathroom: They sprint out of their science classroom to find refuge inside the nearest lavatory, only to realize that, in their haste, they have stepped into the stalls of doom. With cramped quarters, the J-building bathroom breeds awkwardness. Moreover, the faucets pour out cloudy lukewarm water, leaving hands dirtier than before. The scratched mirrors have grubby fingerprints and traces of spray paint. Stains remain on the toilet stalls despite attempts to remove them, standing the test of time. The J-building bathroom is the worst of the worst: one that everyone should avoid if they can.